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The Bright Lights of Nordstrom

June 29, 2013

Earlier this spring we decided to take a stay-cation. You know, when you go on vacation but you stay in the area you live in?  Rewind a year ago— I was pregnant with Pearl and went t o a mama festival and got suckered into a time-share presentation.  After the initial scolding from my husband, we finally attended the 3-hour lecture about why we should invest in a 60k vacation package.  My husband refused the generous offer from the time -share facility to take our money and instead settled on our free vacation at the local resort.

Fast-forward to the present and it is time to finally cash in on this luxurious vacation.  There was no denying that the place was nice with a swanky pool, spa, and awesome kid activities.

The first day we hit the pool, I tug on the only swim attire my postpartum fanny can fit into.  It is a Speedo one piece that I used for lap swimming while pregnant during the first trimester.  AND I still bulged out of it in every open spot possible.  Hot.  Not really, just a hot mess.  Whatever, I have to get these kids in the pool and I’ll never see these other vacationers again.

Once we arrived at the pool, stripped down to our spandex, and jumped in the refreshing oasis, I had a rush of panic.  It hit me how self-conscious I was of my too small swimsuit and that I didn’t want to be that person at the pool wearing a suit that everyone secretly pointed at saying, “what is she wearing?”.  Ok, so I may be a little dramatic but it’s exactly how I felt.  As soon as lunchtime rolled around, I dumped the kids with the hubby and headed to the closest mall to shell out the pesos for an appropriate, middle-aged woman mommy suit.

Frantically walking around the swimsuit department of Nordstrom (and double checking to make sure I wasn’t in the juniors department), a very kind employee swooped in to save me.  She grabbed a handful of too expensive suites and rushed me into a dressing room assuring me that they would all look fabulous.  Awesome.  I quickly stripped down to my skivvies and started pulling on the hip and trendy swim wear.

AND THEN, the bright lights hit!  What the hell?  Who is in charge of the lighting in that little box called a dressing room?  If I was in the business of selling women’s clothes, especially tinny itty bitty little pieces, I would make that room aid in the self-confidence of every female that had the nerve to even go swimsuit shopping.  First, there is a three-dimensional mirror that makes it possible to see evvverrryyyything that hangs, droops, drags, and jiggles.  Second, add the fluorescent bulbs and you are in for a disaster.  Why don’t they just put a box of tissues on the wall to make it a little more convenient to have the pending breakdown?  C’MON Nordi, get with the program!  You are high-end and could really use a dressing room makeover.

Imagine this: you enter a nice room with one mirror, maybe even the mirror that tricks you into believing you are a little taller and thinner than you are.  There is tropical music playing to aid in the mood.  Add a pretty plush oversized chair, soothing light blue paint on the walls, and complimentary margaritas (or seltzer water) with a cute umbrella served by a hunky man wearing his French style Speedo.  As for the bright lights, it’s 2013!  Isn’t there some magical light out there that cast shadows in all the right spots to help avoid seeing the cottage cheese on my hamstrings?

Nordstrom, this is just a little business tip from me to you.  I expect better.  As for my self-esteem, it’s a work in progress like every single woman out there.  There are days I feel like a rock-star and days that I feel like the beached whale.  Here’s to you and wishing you many rock-star days.  And remember beauty has nothing to do with size but sometimes wearing the right size helps us feel better. 😉

 

 

 

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